I took this from Afiq Idrus's blog.

And seriously, "hot damn macam B.W"? You're shitting me right? HAHAHA

*Laughing my fucking ass out*

A GOODBYE LETTER FOR NABILLA ZAHIR

(caption : gile-gile remaje ) :P - this is how we spent our first night together .

(caption : she is so in love with me)

Dear my beloved bitch , nabilla ,

First of all , promise me that you won't cry when reading this entry .

(setting up mood , i played Let go by Archie Star right now - thanks to Zet)

I know this is gonna be hard because I am no longer here to be with you . Distance keeps on being our enemy , we won't be able to sleep together every night , stalking each other's cellphones , gossipping , laughing , walking and hanging out in pavillion and being the centre of attention

I remembered the first time we met , In zet's house . You were wearing snowcap , and the night after the gathering we slept together . You slept in the middle and I told you all my crazy stories about boys - because boys in my life is nothing like the boys in other girls' life . And I taught you how to dance buttons - pussycat dolls . haha . And during the gathering , it's like we're conquering the dancefloor. Orang lain menari poco-poco we both menari club okay :P

I think it would be hard for me because when you're not there with me , I would have no one to cry to , to tell all my woes and happy stories . No one to tell my gossips , well yes maybe I can chat with you via fb or something but it's just won't be the same :(

so please take care of yourself bitch . I will always love you , you are such a great wifey of mine . Please please please don't do anything stupid .

Stop smoking , please stop smoking it's not good for your health . You have lung disease , i understand , I understand how it feels like we you just can't breathe because breathing would kill you that you prefer to die at the time. So yes bitch , stop smoking .

Don't take pills too much . Drugs are never good for your body . Dance if you are stressed up , just dance in the library . I did , I even sang in the library when everyone else is studying .

No more chardonnay in other words , don't take alcohol - I won't be taking jack daniel's anymore as well . Hah , shocked ? Haritu vodka, sekarang Jack Daniel's pulak , kan . teruk betul .

Love yourself before you love somebody else .

Jangan melayan sangat , no more JULIE incident . We were lucky they didn't put us under spell or something that day . Just walk when a stranger tried to make a contact with you . It's dangerous .

I can't take care of you like I did now . So it's up to you sekarang . you're a strong , beautiful bitch so don't lose to anyone else. Stand up on your own feet . If you happen jadi model or celebrity terkenal , don't forget to mention my name - " I would like to thank anne , my beautiful bitch because she 's the one responsible of teaching me how to do sexy poses "

hehe .

And of course , I would seal our kiss on the lips forever :)

(god bella , we should have done some tongue action sekali tau that night. haha )

I love u , bella .

and i for sure will miss you .

SHE DID IT ONCE. Anne wrote this for me before shes off to Melbourne.

SISTERS MADE IN HEAVEN

Dear bella ,

It hurts to see you get hurt and you are not telling me what happened . When things happened the other way round , when I was hurt , when I'm happy , I would go over you and tell everything . It hurts to see you not telling me about your life .

We are best friends , I am here as you best friend please make use of me :)

I know I may not be able to reply straightaway all your messages but i'll try my best.

I've cried to you . I've laughed with you . Although the last time we had a very long conversation was when you were in KL , us in my sister's house in Gombak , we made a video on our "ex-boyfriend' and we danced to Lovegame - I didn't dare to give it to you cuz holy shit i was so damn fat back then HAHA . err it was only early this year wasn't it ?

And you were there when I broke up with Shabil and you were there when I told you I miss ayieq like so effing much .

Please don't make me feel like I'm a bad friend that I was not there when you need someone .

I know you're in love now . Faris Syakirin :) I see you're happy with him .

Now here's the big story , since you said that you're gonna have a boyfriend once I have one . Well , your pray has been granted. I want you to meet my boyfriend soon - oh well I think you've met him already . haha .

So go and get faris syakirin . no point of waiting anymore :)

Please take care of yourself . Please take care of your lungs . Please take care of your life . Please take care of your heart . Please take care of your own feelings .

You never know how much sometimes at night I really wish you were lying down there besides me , and how we could sleep next to each other and tell stories and share secrets till we fall asleep.

I just miss that . I miss hanging out with you . I miss talking to you . I miss how we would share our starbucks , and how some random strangers in KLCC wanna be friends with us . I miss how we annoyed couples in KLCC .

I just miss you , a lot . I just can't explain how much I miss you but I do . And I just can't wait to see you this end of year :)

You're my blackberry wallpaper and you're the reason why I haven't given up on some aspects of life . so thanks to you :)

You're part of me , baby . So do take care of yourself . If something happened to you , it's gonna affect that part of me too .When i lose that part of me , I am not me anymore .

You choose :)

SHE DID IT TWICE. Anne posted this for me.

You made me cry Anne.

So here is one for you (I remember i posted one long entry for you but its in the old blog)

I am so so so happy to see that you have got yourself a boyfriend. And that guy is Raouf, which happens to be one of my closest friends who i spill out my problems to, we have fun hanging around Penang and I know Raouf and you will suit each other the best. You can't even imagine how I screamed at the cyber cafe after seeing your relationship status but to hell all those people, my best friend is in a relationship & I deserve to scream my lungs out!

Don't feel bad about not knowing my problems. You are busy yourself. Remember the most important thing that I've told you.

You are in Melbourne to study, so don't get distracted with other things.

I can see that you are busy, I don't wanna burden you with my problems.

One thing that you have to know, I'm all grown up (maybe), I'll learn to settle things on my own.

I know you will take all the time that's needed, no matter what time of the day, to listen to my problems and give me the best advice. Thank you for that.

Remember when we hugged each other for the last time, and I cried. Thats when I realized parts of me had flew away. But nah, she went away for good so I can't cry much.

I'd be like 'Oh Anne please come down to Malaysia now' when I'm stuck with problems. Nobody understands me like you do yet you are too far, I mean wayyyyyy too far. & thats when I learn to be independent. I learn to keep all the feelings to myself. I learn to give fake smiles.

I learned so much from you. LRT, poses for my photo shoots, etc etc. I missed having noworries-laughlikehell-gocrazy kinda fun with you.

Remember when I started lighting a cigarette at KLCC and you laughed and said, 'Refreshment?' and the next minute you started nagging and asking me to stop smoking. Well congratulations nagger, I've stopped smoking for real this time. :)

Theres a lot of unhealthy competition here in UiTM, and for some competition, I didn't even know my name was in the list. You know like, the hottie and the not, the popularity rating. I swear I don't need any of that but somehow I was in it and rumors are everywhere and thats when I wish (Yet again I wished too much) you are here, stand up for me, telling the bitches to stop because you know how I do and I don't want any of this then you spill some coke up on their head and we laugh and go watch movies. How I wish (I am wishing, again) life is that simple!

And about my relationship.

You remember I got spelled last semester? I can't even eat and I'll end up throwing up in the toilet.

Thats what I get when relationships didn't work well for me.

Thats when my mum told me not to get into any serious relationship.

And yeah, I was thinking of the same thing, its the unbearable pain that I can't take twice.

Its not like my partner will do spells on me when we broke up or what, its the third person that keeps me worrying.

I am human, I need love and to be loved as well but things like this has got me destructed.

I gotta be totally heartless when sometimes I cant hide the feeling of loving somebody.

Poor me.

Come back soon, I'll tell you each and every story in detail.

Lets go eat pancakes! :D

I ♥ you 64 (6 letters for DAYANG, 4 letters for ANNE) You can start calling me 54!

Till we meet again.

This guy touches my heart with his sincerity, thanks Hakim :)
And this disease is not for you to make it as a point of discussion or a thesis statement or whatever you call it.
So guys, enjoy youth while you can, while it lasts.